Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the overnight conversation and interaction. Remember my request, show me how to live out this new phase of my life.

I will depend on the Holy Spirit, while resisting the temptation to do my own things going my own Way. All this is new to me, feelings, emotions that are welling up in me. You don’t give us more than what we can handle, so then I can rise in full confidence. I should be able to handle this as challenging as it appears.

I am grateful for wisdom that’s being granted to me through the Holy Spirit. Lord, You said that the Holy Spirit will teach us all things, so I depend on Him.

You made me aware how I did so many things out of my own strength and wisdom, and I asked the Holy Spirit for His support. While I was unaligned, the Holy Spirit helped me by Your grace. Now slowly I am intentionally aligning myself with You, Holy Spirit, a decision that requires me to subject myself to Your gracious leading, even when the task doesn’t make sense at all.

I must let go of control, believing that even when circumstances appear to be out of control to me, You are working things out according to Your will.

May I learn to embrace Your ways of working, the manners in which You operate. May I have the faith of a little child, leaving all my own cares and concerns in Your hands.

“Thine, O Lord, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all.”
— 1 Chronicles 29:11

I am grateful and astounded for what You are doing in my life. Who am I, O Lord, that You anoint me in this manner with such a great calling?

I am humbled in the face of Your goodness. All what I have comes from You, and when I serve in the various capacities, it’s out of what comes from You that I do it.

The thought of continually changing can be disturbing, depending on what the subject is. Human nature tends to forget that every day is different and that I am not the person that I was yesterday.

Heavenly Father, You continue to bring me to a new place that’s evolving daily. I am so surprised at how You work.

You took me out of an insignificant status to land me on a spot to honor and glorify Your name. That’s why I confess that all that I am, all that I have, came from You.

What I am giving is from what You have given me. You entrusted me with so much; therefore I express my gratitude with my life. I am just a steward of blessings that You have entrusted me with.

You entrusted me with so much, Father. You helped me change my view of myself in my relationship with You, allowing me to envision myself sitting at a table with You to converse with You.

It’s amazing that not much is being said, because it’s about being with You instead of using many words that are incapable of conveying the depth of my inner thoughts. However, a full transaction takes place; everything that I need to know gets transmitted.

My prayer life is becoming fuller, more rewarding than ever. It used to be that praying ended when I was done; now there’s no end. It’s continual interaction, Father, between You and me.

You are my daily sustenance, the bread of life, a continual connection of giving and receiving. Thank You, Lord, for Your amazing love.

There is no such thing as being disconnected from You in this context, Father. Your presence is with me.

I am on a different plane, feeling like being on the ocean without mast or rudder.

I used to know where I was heading; now it feels like I do not have that luxury, subjected under Your control.

Now I am totally dependent on You, guided by the current and wind of the Holy Spirit. When I projected growing and maturing, I didn’t expect it to reach a place where I would feel out of control.

I Know, Lord, that You have a plan; it’s the thought of not knowing how it will Unfold that is the challenge. You will always give what’s good for the purpose of Your glory.

As I explore having You as my daily sustenance, I hope to overcome the challenge. Prayer happens to me, and it continues to grow in a never-ending spirit of prayer, becoming a state of being.

There is a Constant flow of communication between You and me. For Years I longed for this connection; eagerly I sought Your face. Now it’s happening. It’s like You appearing out of nowhere. It’s like water slowly rising up to reach a certain level.

I desired it and rejoice in it, but being here is different. I could never have described nor illustrated what it is like to have prayer happen to me.

Not too long ago, while driving to work, I wondered: what happened to all the prayers that I prayed since I had my encounter with You? Father, I spend hours in Your presence seeking Your face. So I wonder, as I still continue to pray because I love it, I enjoy praying, and I have often said that prayer is my lifeline.

Heavenly Father, I thank You. I am grateful for permitting prayer to happen to me, for the unspeakable joy, for propelling me into the Higher Life. I am amazed to be here; there are moments when it feels overwhelming to contain Your presence. When Solomon offered the sacrifices, the priests could not stand to minister because of Your presence.

As wisdom downloads in me through the Holy Spirit, I will rest in You, allowing it to run its course according to Your will. May I stay out of the way and remember that there might be obstacles on the path that stop or divert her in another direction. May I rest in You without taking offense, always remembering that I am a jar of clay that carries the treasure for Your glory.

Let me find joy in obedience.

Thank You, Father, for Your love, for allowing it to well up in my being. It takes a while to truly understand it.

I spoke about it, searched for it over the years in many ways. None of my efforts can be compared to what I am experiencing today.

Words can’t really describe that You are love. It’s like Paul said in Ephesians 3:17–19: “That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.”

Lord, I guess it is Your fullness I am filled with — that I mentioned previously — that wells up in me...

Father, You do all things in their time. The mending of my brokenness came as a result of the fusion of two parts of my being that felt separated. United, now there’s new energy, which is refreshing.

Lord, so much is gushing out of the mending that You did. As time goes by, it’s integrating more. I did not expect the mending to continue. I saw it as a one-time event.

Now I understand that it’s an organic move, spiraling, twirling like wheels within wheels.

My finite mindset has a hard time grasping how You work, Father. The work that You do through me is continuous. You don’t rely on my energy to do it, but on my Obedience, my faith exercised.

Truly You are a living God, and the same life spills over in my being. You are a God of wonders and miracles. I need to keep that in mind.

I am grateful because the Helper is resident in me through this process. I am glad that I was able to hear Your voice and put the Holy Spirit first in all things.

May I pursue Your order in my life, although it may look like disorder to me. The stars in the sky, the sand on the seashore, the oceans, the wind, the ant’s work. All have an order by Your design. My eyes fail to capture that and can consider it Chaos.

May I surrender into Your hands my pursuit of ordering my plans for a sense of security, so that I can experience the Wonders of Your creation, Your invisible plan that works all things out for good, for Your Glory. Just contemplating this takes away the pressure that my own plans create.

I am grateful, Father, for Your grace that carries me through. Amen.

Lord, I am trusting You. It’s fascinating how I can have a dialogue with You. There are no secrets for You, and I wonder why, because what can I ask or converse about that is not known to You? But I understand that it delights You to have me in Your presence for fellowship and revelation. I receive much more from You than what I realized, because You are self-giving.

Lord, I am grateful that You Propelled me into the Higher Life to be able to understand it all. The journey did not end there, it keeps rising into higher heights in sacredness, moved behind the Veil to the Edge of the Future, falling like a drop of water in the vast Ocean, becoming one. The same Ocean that You invited me in, where I found myself drifting away by the currents and the wind. This is so marvelous, Lord.

18 There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Yes, four which I do not understand: 19 The way of an eagle in the air, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the midst of the sea. Proverbs 30:18–19 (NKJV)

Similar to what Job said:

You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Job 42:3 (NKJV)

This whole journey with You is like a beautiful choreographed dance, rich in rhythm, filling my entire being, leaving me speechless. Lord, I am grateful.

However, I come back to You again for guidance, instruction on how to keep navigating forward while trusting You for provision. Lord, I expected to be surrounded by support that helps through the experience, however it must be that Your grace is sufficient to carry me through. I must lean on it.

Father, I will remember that I am no longer the same, neither should I expect the same results of the past. You shifted me way ahead. Help me reconcile the fact that whatsoever served me in the past is no longer useful at this state of my life, instead to look for fresh provision that is in store, aligned with today’s opportunities.Lord, I trust that this is blooming time, like the flower that spreads all its petals with full freedom.

As time went by, it dawned on me that I might be able to share them. The idea began to rise in me slowly. I shared it with some friends and even sent them a few samples, which they received very well.

I was excited, but I also had some trepidation about the whole thing. The way I write is spontaneous, and I have no formal training. I also began to realize that sharing my writing would mean becoming vulnerable. Once the writing goes out, I can’t control where it lands or how people interpret it. That is a scary feeling, and I had to ask myself if I was willing to take that risk.

I can describe the feeling this way: Out in the ocean, adrift—with no sail, rudder, or paddles, carried by the currents. That is how I felt before I started writing, and it is how I feel now when I think about releasing my writing. Being adrift was one of the pieces that inspired me to journal. Journaling itself became a way for me to express the journey within.

Being adrift is still a wonder to me, and I enjoy it. I am so grateful for this opportunity, which I received by God’s grace. To Him alone be all the glory!

Lord, he did not like the idea of being vulnerable, but that’s where he has been all along — always standing in an unfamiliar place, called to move forward with no map, no GPS, only Your invitation. It’s the same as being out in the ocean with no paddles, no sail, no rudder — just guided by the currents and the wind.

The Edge of the Future where he is standing today is not the same place as before — You moved him further. The current position is new, risky. Always the same sensation: vulnerable, unclothed in Your presence. He has asked for a covering, a mantle, to feel warm — and he can’t say You did not answer. He knows he is covered by You, but wants to feel it. Perhaps it’s by design — the way he feels makes him long after You daily, with all his might and strength. Any other covering may distract him, taking his eyes off You, or giving him a sense of arrival. Father, that might be a big temptation that would make him drift away in the opposite direction.

Knowing his frame, he is better off being in a state of hope and dependency on You. You would rather have him in a state of fluidity than solidity. To him, being solid means stability and permanence, which leads to staleness. Father, You want him to stay vibrant, pliable, adventurous, dynamic.

Dear Father, he thanks You for the rivers of divine water welling up in his being — it’s refreshingly beautiful, bringing joy like a morning sunrise. Show him how to let it run according to Your will, not his. It is like the sweetness of honey moving, unhurried — a tension, or pressure, that always makes him wonder how to contain it. His being is used to finding release when other sweetness reaches its peak, but this sweetness is about to spill over. Both the rising to the peak and the flowing down of the slow-moving honey, and its texture, produce a tone that is beyond words.

Father, help him to let it run and not intercept the ongoing flow. By nature, he is quick to take matters into his own hands instead of letting the flow do its own thing — which is unheard of, because his entire being longs to do something with the sweetness. Father, he held back in the past. Today he let it go past the place where he would normally hold off, or seek an encounter prematurely, or play it safe. Now he lets it go down its own path while staying back, not knowing absolutely anything about the outcome. Father, standing at the edge of the future, drifting like a drop in the vast ocean, being pulled by the slow flow of the sweetness of honey, he slips into Your embrace like a little child desiring the warmth of Your presence.

Lord, the question that arises: how does he express himself when the flow is dynamic — like all the cells in his being are singing at once — with a joy that is impossible to explain, while standing in a place where none of what is inside has come to pass or materialized?

Father, help Your son to hope in You. To him, the invitation is too large for him to handle, and the temptation for an easy way out is always there. O Lord, remember him, because he feels bare, naked, longing to be clothed by Your presence.